September 24, 2016 on a Sunday night at approximately 10pm. The last time I wrote on this blog was in late 2015 and I wish I was exaggerating when I say it feels like yesterday.
I thank my 18 year old self for overcoming my laziness and even starting this blog, even if I did stop for a while. I managed to begin blogging when my life was making a turn and dragging me with it-ready or not.
As of right now, I have been binge watching Blue Mountain State and it excites me for college. Although when I was blogging, I was about to begin college, my mindset was not really on college. I absolutely did not want to go and I hated the thought of college. Now I love it! It's exactly what I always wanted and it's a bit more freedom but not so much to the point where you have to think about bills of living on your own and even more adult problems. I knew once 2016 was about to hit that it would be a step forward into the life I'm living. I have become more self aware and learning how to face my fears. My mindset is a bit different than it used to be when I was clouded with negativity and self doubt. I realized a load of things I cannot even bother counting. And to be completely honest? I could write on it forever. But I'm not. Not tonight anyway.
Priorities still need to be straightened, huh?
No. I know what I should be doing and I shall. Just fuck it. Life is about pleasure and being happy. And right now? I just freshly applied a mask on to make an appearance back on the site & then resume watching Blue Mountain State.
I have a tendency of becoming addicted to anything I like. Coffee, TV shows, contact lenses (yes I still wear those and yes I still get pink eye from wearing expired lenses), boy bands, shopping, Tumblr, procrastinating, rebelling, drinking (yes I also began drinking. Surprising? Not so much.)
I have far too much to say to begin right now. I want to attempt sleeping early so I can wake at 5 and go for a morning walk/jog. Usually I now wake at 9-10am but I have been wanting to see the sunrise. I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset. ;)
& no I did not start waking early because I'm "maturing" or "adulting" now that I'm 19 and have to gain more responsibility. I lose any responsibility I had this year. My life is at that stage where anyone would call being worthless or wasting life away but I call it figuring myself out at a steady pace. I also don't get why waking up early is seen as productive and something to praise anyway. Wake up whenever the fuck you want to especially if your job is later. Who created these unwritten rules on how to live? Each life is different and it will be lived differently but whatever, some people are just followers and weird. No one can determine my worth by me not conforming to whatever the fuck society sees fit. Anyway, I wake early because it makes me feel happier inside. I love the sun shining through my windows and I love having longer days because as we all know, I am terrible with timing. Time flies for me and I don't take it lightly.Why not make the day longer?
I've written much more than I anticipated which isn't bad but certainly is taking the time away from Netflix time. All summer long I have been on Netflix. Skins, That 70's Show, Shameless, and now Blue Mountain State. Can't say I'm sorry.
Weird how as I was writing, Maroon 5 crossed my mind so I began to play it. When I made this blog, I was listening to them way too much. Always loved them.
But now She Will Be Loved is playing and I'm starting to think me making this blog and coming back isn't just out of coincidence. Initially I created this blog because all throughout senior year I was suffering what they call, "writers block" and it sucked. Writing was my hobby and I for some reason could not manage to write a word. I finally listened and decided to make a blog as a way of keeping the river flowing. I don't want to stop writing, ever. It is a part of me and I love it for the same reason I love taking pictures and videos- I get to look back at how I once was, and in this case, how I once thought.
Who knows? Maybe one day people will read this shit and be entertained by it because God knows I live to entertain. Entertaining others is my way of entertaining myself.
What a loser I am, I know.
Bye. xx
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